I wish it wasnt so hard to talk & vent to my loved ones late at night. Or anyone really. Im really bummed about random things. & like they’re all stacking up ykno? & fuck. Its been soo long since I partied. All stress and no good times. I need people. I need alcohol & people in a combined good time.
Merp. I think I’m tired of putting in too much when I barely get much back. With everything really.
Ykno I think thats the center of my problem tumblr.
My boyfriend and i laugh about how if im ever kidnapped i would just end up throwing up from being uncomfortable & stressed. Burn right through my bindings and also my captors skin/face. My overactive stomach is killing me but it will fuck the rest of the world if it ever comes out~
I just can’t ok? Its hard being home after being away for so long. Its irksome to find my mother having a hard time with her comprehension of things. Its bothersome how we used to chat for hours and now shes just in & out. Its difficult realizing ive alienated myself from people who might have cared once but im betting its a bit late for a friendly chat. I need to talk but im becoming an introvert again and its just strange.
Above most though it is my mother. Shes tired, in and out of sleep. Shes strong tho too, and loving, accepting. Shes always been there for me. But the more i see & understand the more i want to leave.
My childhood left a long time ago, & my mother tried to give it back. She was amazing & suceeded. held me close for another 14 years. But i need to take care of her now so go fuck yourself old laid back life. I have a great woman to pay back.
God theres so many issues bubbling up. I needed to spill out just a bit.
Last year, around March, I had the WORST morning like sickness. No, I was not pregnant, I knew I couldn’t be either since I’m super careful and my period well it happened recently when I had the problem so anyhow…